There is a reason why I fell in love with you. Your thoughtfulness, your caring is something I always loved about you.
What I talked to you about earlier in my communicating post, is something I'm truly missing right now.
I miss the guy that made sure I knew that although he was busy, when he would come back he would show me how excited he was to read my posts. That even if my post was only a couple of lines, he would show me how much he appreciated that I took the time to say hi.
For the last little bit I feel like I don't know what to think anymore.
I miss the guy that would show me he missed me by clicking on all these older posts in a row. I miss the guy that would take the time to communicate through an older post. To say good morning or to say this weather is a joke through my own words.
I miss knowing that when you would come back to read my newest post, you will show excitement by clicking 4,5,6, times on the post all at the same time.
Now I get to see one click on each post for the day here and there.
It's not the numbers I'm talking about here. I'm talking about the way you taught me to see your excitement in the way you handled my posts.
I can't stretch enough how much I understand that you are busy and you have things to do. But even when you were busy with work stuff before... there was not one single day went by when I felt doubtful about the way you feel about me.
I want this so much, but my heart is breaking right now not knowing how to feel.
That's why I talked to you earlier. I wanted you to know that I miss you so much every day and I miss the way we have learned to communicate.
Summer is hard enough being busier with kids. Not really knowing how your day is going or if you are really busy with work.
That's why sometimes during the week days I keep my day posts short. Days like yesterday when it's a Holiday I make sure that you know I'm still here but I don't overwhelm you with a big post.
I'm taking the time to tell you how I feel, what's happening with my day. Taking the time to be honest with you about things like the game yesterday, so that you know that I'm serious about this.
I've told you plenty of times that if you are not feeling well, I want to be there for you. You would have to tell me how you feel as I have no other way of knowing, but if you do I will be here for you.
You made my heart love you so much. Your persistence, your kindness, the person that you are, everything that I have seen in you is what I always wanted.
I am dying to be with you, to get to know you more, to know what it is about you that makes my heart feel so much.
The situation is complicated, but there is never a second when I don't know what I want or how I feel about you.
All I ask is that you don't change too many things on me right now. That I continue to see that excitement, that if you are not feeling well you communicate with me so we can work things out some how.
I said this to you before, I will want to be there for you for the good and the bad days. Even if I seem to be having a good day, if you are not... please do let me know.
As things stand right now, I can only go by what you show me here.
I wish you a good night.
I want you to know that I'm not upset. I think I'm more frustrated that I can't be with you than anything.
Have a good night Jason.
My heart loves you more than you will ever know. ♥